Perfectionism... It hits most new coaches as the first snag in the journey to freedom through a coaching business!
How do we know?
Because we've been there, done that, and know the tune.
Believing that you are not perfect enough to coach others is one of the biggest mindset roadblocks that you must overcome in order to serve well and effectively in your own business.
By the way, that would be true, whether you were a coach or a candlestick maker!
Having a personal belief in yourself can make all the difference.
In this episode of The CRUSH Method Show, Chris and Amanda dig into why seeking perfectionism is a non-starter, and give you some practical tips on how you can move past perfectionistic tendencies and move forward in your coaching business.
The book Amanda mentioned in the episode is Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy. You can get the book on Amazon here. (this is an affiliated link so we may receive a small compensation, if you prefer you can always Google the book separately)
Let's blast past perfectionism and get into massive action this week, CEO Coach!
Transcript of Vlog - July 16, 2020
Do you worry that you're not perfect enough to coach other people? That's what we're talking about this week. We see it all the time. We've been subject to it as well. Absolutely, totally. And so we wanted to tackle perfectionism and why it's something that you need to tackle CEO coach in your business. So let's, let's dive into it for today.
You don't have to be perfect to help others look, if you ever suffer from perfectionism, listen up because there are some things that we think that CEO coaches should really keep in mind. I think this is particularly a problem for coaches because they know how good it can get. Absolutely. They've probably got a mentor that they view as being able to do it so much better than them.
For example, therefore compare themselves to that mentor and maybe others on the same journey and say, maybe things like, Oh, I'm not as good as that person. Exactly. Sometimes we get confused between the difference between having a high standard for excellence or high performance with perfectionism. And the first thing we really wanted you to hear coach, I don't know if you need to hear it today is you are enough.
You really are. You're enough the way you are. And I remember for years, literally five years, I would daydream about having a coaching, a business about doing my own thing about making the leap from being an employee or an entrepreneur. We talked about it endlessly. And I thought that because I don't have six pack abs that no one would want to hire me as a coach or because you don't have all the answers perfectly worked out right now.
There's no point in getting started. It's kind of that perfect paralysis situation. Yeah, exactly. And I just really want you to hear it, boo. You are enough, you've got everything you need. Exactly. And if you're really struggling with that, then that is a really good thing to potentially seek coaching around or even therapy on. I've definitely had my share of conversations with therapists over the years to help me find that self worth and that self confidence,
especially if it's causing you to be dysfunctional in an area that can't help you move forward. Well, then that's a good candidate to seek therapy. Maybe in that area. Exactly. I used to tell myself I was just a perfectionist and I would just accept it. And that's what they call fixed mindset. And if you want to have a growth mindset,
you are enough and there's room to grow. There's always room to grow. Now, given that I found it really helpful to keep in mind the three foot rule, three foot rule. What does that mean? So imagine you're climbing up a mountain side. You only have to be a few feet ahead of someone to reach your hand back and help them climb up the mountain.
There you go. I like that. That's exactly the three foot rule. So it's, it's about you being Oprah. It's not about you being so perfect that they will just be amazed by your perfectionism and then they will just fall over all over themselves to be your coaching clients. Yeah. You don't have to be the guru on the mountain. Who's got all the mystic answers at this point.
Absolutely not. To be honest. Most people really want to have someone that's willing to kind of get sweaty and dirty and kind of go climb with them. And they want somebody who is touchable. You know, they want somebody who, who they can relate with and relate to. I mean, I've had multiple trainers in the past where I would hire them on the basis of understanding that they're not so bright past had been something that they overcame.
I found that very, you know, connecting and compelling. Well, I think that's a lot of why people, especially over the last couple of years has really been drawn to authenticity. That's that belief that somebody is kind of like you they're really giving you the real straight answer and therefore maybe not way up the mountain in front of you, just a little bit in front of you.
And so you feel that connection with them. I think so. I think so. And you know, personally, I've also found that it's been great to have a mix of mentors. You know, I have mentors that have achieved really great things, truly amazing things. And I would say that the mentors who are a little closer to where I actually work,
work tended to help me accelerate a lot faster. So it was like having that mix. I think that was really, really important to my process, my journey. And I continue to have a mix of mentors that are different distances. Absolutely. Sometimes you need, you need to see a little further down the map and sometimes you just need to know what's around the bend.
Exactly. Now the other thing to keep in mind, perfectionist is that there is opportunity for growth everywhere. Absolutely everywhere, everywhere in everything. I used to beat myself up because I just didn't feel like I could grow fast enough or far enough in enough areas. Well, you know, a lot of people can get paralyzed by this and think, Oh,
there's so many things, Oh, what do I do first? Or you can view it from the flip side, it's an opportunity. It means whatever you pick up, you're going to grow and improve it. Yeah, exactly. I think it's really important here to have time to really vision for yourself. You remember when I learned how to do life planning and I learned it from Michael Hyatt and he had a partner,
I can't remember his name right now, but, um, the book was living forward and maybe I'll see if I can find that and include that in the show notes. But the, the thing that was so breakthrough for me was when I was able to see what was really important to me, actually important to me and pursue growth in those areas specifically,
you got that clarity on the main thing. My life changed dramatically. It was almost overnight. It was almost overnight. I think the thing is, is if you can be secure in your growth choices, like where you're choosing to put your growth, then will just feel so much more like you're in the saddle. And like you're really making progress consciously aware of where you're wanting to grow and therefore applying your resources,
whatever that is for you towards that growth. Exactly. Exactly. And we don't have to do the sad sack thing of like, Oh, I'm just never going to be good in this particular area. I I've done that. I've sung that song. I know all the words. And I'm just here to tell ya it doesn't get you anywhere except into a big puddle of sadness.
Yeah. Sucksville, yeah, exactly. And you know what the thing is sometimes you just feel that and that's true and that's real and that's okay as well. So don't get down on yourself. If you have a day where you're feeling like you're not enough, just remember the truth, the capital T truth of it is you absolutely are. And you can change anything about anything.
You have everything you need to step in that direction and make a better life for yourself. So never forget your power to do that. All right. Now we're talking about your coaching business, right? So let's anchor this whole thing back. What's the main thing. The main thing is to have a process that you take your clients through. They're not paying you to be perfect.
Nope. They're not paying you to be mistake-less like some guru on the mountain. We talked about exactly. They're not paying you to, to be able to see their future or to wave a magic wand. They're, they're really investing in an outcome that they care about and they're hiring you to be their process steward, to be their trainer, to be there,
that person alongside of them. And that's what is core to a coaching business, not your physicality, not your age, not your looks, not any of those things. It's not about being a perfect human it's about having a great process that helps people achieve their goals and dreams. Absolutely. You've got to be able to help people make a change. That's the table stake,
but allows you to even get into the game. Exactly. So we hope that you found this to be incredibly helpful. And as we come back here, we have a little, a little exercise for you. I'd love for you to just take five minutes and grab a piece of paper and write your awesome list. What does that, what do you mean?
Why are you awesome? Go write and post that, put that somewhere visible to remind yourself of your many accomplishments, your incredible strengths, your beautiful virtues and those things that maybe you need a little reminder of now and again, so that you can get back into the saddle, get back into service and be building that coaching business that you dream of. So I hope you have a really amazing day.
We'll see you next time. Hey Amanda, here. Be sure to tune in for our next The CRUSH Method Show by following us on www.amandakaufman.net/blog, or you can look up The CRUSH Method at the YouTube at the Facebook's of the Instagram and even on Twitter, we'll see you next time.