Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts at thecrushmethodshow.com
When we know what to do, but aren’t doing it, odds are, we are at odds with our mood...
This week in The CRUSH Method Show we’re discussing Better Moves With Better Moods, and exploring how we feel affects the way we behave day to day, and what to do when a negative mood strikes.
This continues our conversation about what happens when we know what to do, and even how to do it, but we struggle with implementing and following through. In this episode we discuss:
Chris and I also share what it has been like to come to terms with ownership over our moods, and what we’ve learned over the years as we become more conscious and intentional around mindset.
Until more recently, we thought that our mood was the result of our circumstances… The result of things that other people did to us, or circumstances that felt beyond our control.
It turns out, mood regulation is one of the most powerful skillsets in personal development and growth.
As we’ve been discussing recently in The CRUSH Method Show, mood is another aspect of performance that fits together with our overall psychology, physiology, productivity, and other key pillars of personal outcomes and performance that work together to affect the results and outcomes that we are after in life.
Whether you want a promotion at work, improved relationships at home, better parenting and relationships with your children, conscious mood management is a key ingredient to ensuring you will have more influence, more energy, and better results.
As people all over the world struggle with the demands of modern life, constant distraction, increasing intensity of expectations, the daily experience of mood is a major topic of conversation everywhere… so taking one small stand for our own individual mood is a step in the direction of a greater experience everywhere.
Often, especially in the personal development world, the avoidance of negative moods is sought after… We don’t advocate for denying or suppressing your emotional responses, but rather being more aware of them, and bringing intentionality to how you want to shape your experience and perspectives.
Often a negative mood is a signal, that when it is understood, can provide a valuable insight into how you’d like to proceed as a result.
Don’t miss this week’s episode, and join in the conversation. Don’t forget to subscribe!
Transcript of The CRUSH Method Show - February 14, 2020
Hey, welcome to the CRUSH Method Show. My name is Amanda Kaufman and I'm Chris Lavelle and we are digging into another subject that's kind of close to what we talked about last week. Last week we were talking about psychology. This week, we wanted to have a very specific conversation about. Mood is different from psychology. Yes, the psychology is the study of the thought patterns that drive behaviors. I want to talk to you specifically about your mood. That's more the feelings you have at the end. So you know,
this has been such an important piece off building our practice and our lives together really is managing our moods, managing our emotions and really taking a lot of ownership over that. No, absolutely. I mean, your thoughts certainly have an impact on your mood, but you're still responsible for your mood. It's not somebody else's fault that you're maybe in a bad mood or a good mood. It's a conscious decision and something you have to work on and take responsibility for our son all. Then he's six right now,
and he's been He's all about the mood, the results he's been processing through that with two and 1/2 year old who's also very much in the mood. But you know something will happen and all. Then Alden will say, You know, you're making me feel angry. You know? Why are you doing that? It's your fault I’m angry, that kind of thing. Exactly, which is a convenient explanation. But it's not really what's going on. Also, gotta highlights for you that's a very six year old way of ... wen advocate for a more adult method.
Well, and truth be told, I used to be a victim of my mood. Ah, lot I I used to really think that it was my circumstances in my surroundings that were dictating how I was showing up and my my presence in the world evenly.
You know, seasonal effectiveness disorder. It's a yucky day outside. It's a yucky day outside, so I have to be more diligent on days when it is gray and gross to have a positive mood like and it's a very conscious decision.
Well, you've got to do things to help foster that and encourage it, especially in times when maybe external factors that might influence in some regard are little challenging.
It's so important to performance, especially because if if we allow our mood to dictate whether we're gonna sit down and do the blog today, or go to the office or be nice to our spouses or pay a bill,
pay that bill or have that hard conversation that we need to have with a loved one or whatever it is that we know we need to do to have a better quality of life and a better circumstance.
I think one of the biggest things that I see in the world these days is that we expect our mood to be dictated by our circumstances,
as opposed to choosing the mood that's going to serve us and be conscientious about it. Well, yeah,
well, you know, we're not saying that. It's easy. We're not trying to say, Oh,
well, it's easy to do that. If it was easy, everybody would do it. We wouldn't see so many angry,
upset people in the world. But there are things you can do to help put yourself in the best position to be able to manage your mood.
Now, I know you're very intentional, but I know that you're very intentional of hope. your mood management,
Chris. I mean, he said, Well, you are. You are. I mean, there are moments that you have moments just like I have moments, everyone has moments they get triggered.
We have, like, our hot button, Sure, but I know that you are very intentional about your mood.
So So what is it that you do to cultivate that more positive mindset and mood? You know, we'll talk a little bit,
More ink another episode on this more deeply. But one of the things I do most is try and take care of my physicality.
And so the great example of that is I try and go to the gym regularly because that's something that,
for me, has the biggest impact on how I physically feel in that physical feeling goes a long ways towards helping my mood.
Absolutely. That makes a lot of sense. I think. For me, one of the big things I do is I remind myself,
on a very regular basis what kind of presence I want to have with other people and I use that high performance planner that I talked about it in a former episode and one of the questions is who needs me to be on my A game and to me having an a game.
A lot of it has to do with how I interact and engage. What gives you a lot of clarity on what's needed for that?
And I often ask people, you know, what did you love about this session or what did you love about this event?
And they're often telling me that I just love your energy and honestly, I think it is the mood.
It's it's that mood regulation of just deciding that I'm gonna be in a positive kind of a mood of presence because that's what the situation calls for.
And, you know, there were a lot of years in my life where I didn't believe I had any kind of control over my mood,
and I would just roll with the mood I was given. And unfortunately, that would not always not always be positive.
And guys, we're not saying that in a terrible situation. You have to put on a sunny disposition,
and I'm like, it's not terrible. That's not what we're saying. There are times when you know it's warranted to have a bad mood,
but the really. The thing to reflect on is how is that mood going to serve you? Is it going to help you achieve what you need or want to achieve that day or time or in life,
and certainly choosing a mood that will serve you better and achieving your goals? That makes a lot more sense.
So I think of it a little more like you're trying to elongate and protract that kind of that positive presence in that positive energy.
I don't know if this is terribly scientific, but my personality. I'm an Aries, I like. I like being control.
I can respond with fire, sometimes. Go figure right. You know what you think about that? So it's not.
It's not about diminishing or eliminating negative moods. It's more about working through those as quickly as possible, right?
And sometimes they serve a purpose and not allowing things to spiral as much as possible. And every now and again,
you're gonna slip and you're gonna have that spiral of bad day or a bad week and, you know,
similar to when we were talking about psychology, I would say that if you find yourself in that negative mood spiral
A lot, a lot of frequency and a lot of duration or a lot of intensity,
then that is an indicator to immediately begin to consider seeking some professional support. It could be that it would be a therapist or a mental health professional.
You can always start with your general practitioner, doctor. If you are having trouble, really, you know,
avoiding those spirals the depth, the frequency or the intensity is is so much for you with with your mood,
there's no shame in getting some support for that. Absolutely. We've both been there and will probably be there again ourselves for people seeking that help when you need it.
And I think the number one takeaway for today's episode is just checking on that mood that you've been carrying around for the last month or so.
And you know, it's a negative one. If it's a good one, you going, it won't do in both cases later.
If you're doing great, then great like, but what are you doing that is helping make it great?
And if it's not been so great, which is often the case, well, you get to take responsibility for it now,
you get to decide what you're gonna do next to encourage the mood. You really do. Exactly So you know,
you might have to take a beat. You might have to reset and just decide what mood you want to carry forward and you know you're gonna have such a better life experience when you take that ownership and that responsibility for your mood in addition to your thought patterns,
like we talked about last week when we were discussing psychology. All right, so that's it for this week.
I hope that this is helpful. Be a cool friend and share this with a friend of yours. Just subscribe and forward the link to wherever you happen to be watching this and we'll see you again next time on the CRUSH method Show all best guy's bye! Hey there.
Thanks for tuning into this week's The CRUSH Method Video blog. I'm Amanda Kaufman and I'm Chris Lavelle. We loved having you here.
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